Merry Christmas

Another year has come and is almost gone. As every year, the past year had its ups and downs, its good and bad, its fun and stress. Time flies and sometimes I wonder were it goes. But such is time and nevertheless time has its plusses for time heals every wound, though the memory remains, vague as it gets with time. But so do the good memories. They keep each other in balance. The Light can not exist without the dark, do we wish it could. But they exist in each others grace. Nonetheless, it is the Season to be jolly, a Season of Life, Love and Peace in which we celebrate the coming of Christ, our Saviour.
So I wish everybody a Very Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year. May all your wishes for the coming year come true and may you know nothing but happiness and prosperity. May you find Peace, Love and Joy in this most Magical Season. May you be blessed with Peace and Safety in all four Seasons and wherever you are. May the Light always shine upon you and keep the dark at bay. And may God keep you in the palm of His hand. Have a merry holiday and a good New Years Eve.

Hugs and Kisses

Winter Solstice

It’s Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year. My little brother was born on the 21st of December thus that makes him a lucky person for he has the sun on his side, while she increases her influence. So we celebrated his 20th birthday tonight and though he didn’t get much presents, for it’s almost Christmas, we had a good time, learning to play/playing mah-jong :)
Anyhow, winter has finally begun and I for one can’t wait for it to set in. I want this winter to be a very cold one, so hell freezes over and I can skate on natural ice for a first time in I think nearly a decade. I love to skate, but it has been a very long time since I done it. The few times the ditches did freeze over, I didn’t think it sensible to go skating for it had only been freezing for a few days and the thaw had set in the day people went skating…
But I have hope for this winter. I also hope it will snow with Christmas. I am just a little romantic at heart. So I have hopes for this winter but if I must be realistic, which I normally am, I must admit it doesn’t seem very likely that my hopes will come true. It will probably rain with Christmas and it probably won’t freeze long or hard enough for me to go skating with a good feeling :( Damn global heating. Damn Bush for neglecting international treaties and thus contributing extra to global heating. Damn Bush in general. Ok, I’ll admit, I don’t like Bush all that much. Concerning Bush, I’ll leave it at that for now.
So, I have hopes for this Christmas. It seems that in the future though, I won’t have to hope anymore, for I remember that it has been said that, due to global heating if I remember correct, it’ll get colder in Europe in the future. This means that the winter will be winter again, the ditches will freeze over, I will be a happy camper skating and my romantic heart will rejoice and enjoy Christmas even more with a big mug of hot chocolate. Thank God for global heating… hey, you have to see the positive in the negative ;)
Enjoy winter (solstice) everyone.

American hubris

I still feel a slight bit shitty from last night, so I have decided to trash the Americans once more. It’s not that I don’t like Americans, or they don’t live in a beautiful country. It’s just that they are so easy to trash, for they have a crappy government and actors as chosen governors and presidents, who should just stick with what they are good at; every man to his trade… And I wanted to say this ever since last week when it became known that Stanley ‘Tookie’ Williams had been executed. I do acknowledge that the man is a murderer, and he did belong in jail, but I am against capital punishment. For I think being in jail till the end of your days (that means a natural death) is more effective and revengeful than being in death row; put the criminal away with no access to any luxury or the prospect of keeping contact with any family till the day he dies a natural death. The prospect of death row just doesn’t decrease criminality. Furthermore, alive he was worth more than dead cause he had a good influence on the community, for he wrote books which kept the youth away from gangs and their culture. But, after his petition for clemency was denied, he was put to death; he was executed for Arnold Schwarzenegger said that he didn’t know if Williams was honest in his redemption. What the fuck?! So what if it wasn’t honest… Williams decreased criminality with his books and had been nominated for the Nobel Prize of Peace and Literature a couple of times… a gang had promised to give up half of their arsenal if Williams got his clemency… HE HAD A GOOD INFLUENCE. Isn’t that worth more than the question if he was honest?

So where is the hubris in this you may ask? Well, Americans like to think that no other people are as Christian as they are. God is their Father and they follow Him in all His might and bright. But only God has the right to decide between life and death and the Americans who make the decision to put someone to death just ignore this little fact. So do they think they have the right to make the decision for/in stead of God? Do they think they are better than He is? For they are most certainly not. But still they think nobody is as Christian as they are. No one is as conservative as they are… But they do have the right to decide over life and death… If that isn’t hubris, nothing is. And yes, so did Williams, think he has the right to decide over life and death, and that got him locked up for nearly 25 years…

'Tis the Season to be jolly, the season we celebrate the coming of Christ. A Season of life and love... and what do the Americans do? Put someone to death in all their might and bright and hubris… And they don’t get punished for it.

Hear no, speak no, see no evil

I feel like shit momentarily. A friend/acquaintance has admitted tonight that he had feelings for me, was in love with me… I saw this coming, but I don’t feel the same for him. I like him and think he’s a nice guy, but (at the moment) my feelings for him don’t go further than that. He seemed ok with that… He said he thought that would be the case… but then he did something which made me ask why he did what he did and well, I didn’t really think it was because of me, but I do tend to take things to heart so I asked if he did it because of me.
First his answer was negative, but then he said that perhaps, yes, it had something to do with me. I said to him, that if he wanted me to leave him alone (for a while), he should say so. But then he said ‘that I shouldn’t take it personally’, but that he just felt shitty, he was off his stroke at the moment and that after a good nights sleep, he would feel much better.
How can I not take that personally? Someone is hurting because of me. A man is hurting because of me. And I can’t help but feel shitty about that. For I have never been able to cope with men who are/were hurting.

Today’s men, is the general opinion, should be able to show their feelings. They should be in contact with their feminine side, so they should be able to cry. That doesn’t work for me. I remember this one time, I was about 11 I think, and a big fight concerning my little brother (who is 3 years younger than I am). In those days he just wasn’t a happy camper and created huge fights and would thereafter lock himself up in his room. Normally the one person he didn’t exclude was my older brother (2.5 years older than I am). But this time he did. I remember going up the stairs to the second floor where both my brothers’ bedrooms were, and hearing my brother cry, seeing him being comforted by my mom. I never heard or saw anything so terrible. My big brother crying, the one person my little brother never excluded and also always seemed to listen to. What had he said to my brother that he was crying? What had he done? My big brother crying, one of the few persons I really relied on and of whom I thought could never be broken. My big brother… broken.

Since then, I think, I can’t cope with men who are hurting. And it is even worse if I am the instigator, for as I said, I tend to take things to heart. Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked anything, perhaps I shouldn’t have cared. Perhaps I am too much of a woman in heart. But I want my family, friends, and people I like, to be happy. I would like to protect them against any evil coming their way. But how can I protect them if that evil is me and I didn’t mean for them to be hurting because of me? How can I not feel shitty if it is because of me, even if the person hurting says I am not to blame?

I must say that just sharing this helps, but not enough, and I think this will wander my thoughts for I fall asleep later this night. Ah well, such is my mind and conscience...

American Stupidity

I think it’s fairly known by the Americans that non-Americans don’t think fairly highly of them (if not, it’s known now ;)). And to be fair, to us foreigners some decision taken by the American government and the Americans themselves, aren’t quite understandable. Some of the American policies just aren’t logical. And your elections are incomprehensible like hell. But I know that this is a two way junction, since our elections and policies may also seem incomprehensible, e.g. our drugs policy – which I completely support, and no I don’t do drugs, never have and never will. So I shouldn’t bitch. But since I love to do that and I’m good at it, I’ll just ignore that and bitch away.

This week it became known that more than half of the Americans want another president with the next elections, they are not satisfied with president Bush or his policy, and in hindsight think that the invasions of Iraq was a big mistake.
When I heard this, my thoughts were: ‘Well, that’s just mighty bright of those Americans. That just blows my mind… Couldn’t they have figured this out sooner, before this dickhead of a president was elected for his second term? Couldn’t they have elected the other, Gore?’
It’s just typical American stupidity to be this insightful when Bush is already a year in his second term. It’s just typical American stupidity to be this insightful when their presidents have the tradition to never fulfil more than two terms and thus, Bush will never be elected with the next elections for a third term. So insightful you Americans can be.
But to be fair, we can blame it all on the way you choose a new president. It can all be blamed on your elections. It’s just so complicated that system of yours. A candidate can have more votes but still loose the election. That’s just so unfair. Just ignore the majority of the people’s voice and choice. Kerry should have been president. You guys should have chosen Gore. Bush SUCKS BIG TIMES, and with the next elections you should vote for the democrat. You guys never had a better president than Clinton, of that I can remember that is. So go for the democrat. That’s the better choice for everyone.

Talking ’bout the weaker sex

Talking about the weaker sex. Talking about boys and men. Most men, and perhaps some women, would assume the weaker sex is the woman. Whoever thinks this is so wrong, just plain wrong. Boy are you ever so wrong if you think this. Why, you ask, do I mention this? Well, last week I read this article and today I got reminded of it by my dad. The poor soul…

Boys are not more intelligent than girls. But you can say that girls perform better than boys. For years (international) research has shown that this is so. Girls take up less time to successfully end their education and fewer girls call it quits halfway their education. This is even true for the beta studies. Again and again girls perform better than boys and not only on educational grounds; they have also become more assertive, e.g. in courting. For the full article (in Dutch) look here.
So, women are just better than men. Sorry to bust your bubble boys and men. Physically men are perhaps stronger, but even so, women can even the scores by training their physique. But hey, noting new under the sun. Men are just weaker than women. This also shows in their health (also read the article). They get ill sooner and more often. Just today my dad said he wasn’t feeling well, he was ill – he has a nasty cough… a really mean little cough… uhuh, yeah and that means you’re ill…. Not likely. Nasty cough? Take some cough syrup. Really, a little cough doesn’t mean you’re ill; it’s more likely you have a (starting) cold. And a cold is not, I repeat, NOT the same as being ill. And if you really are ill, take some drugs for God’s sake, some aspirin. But noooò, men are too stubborn for that. They want pity. They want to be pampered. For a little, annoying, cough. Damn, you men are so stubborn, annoying and dumb sometimes. Don’t take the damned syrup, cause a nasty little cough doesn’t effect your throat at all… At some point, your throat will not hurt from all that coughing… Your body is build to endure everything without any help from you… Cough syrup? Drugs? Who needs them? Certainly not men, who are after all the stronger sex. Oops, I forgot, you’re the weaker sex. TAKE THOSE DAMN DRUGS IF YOU’RE ILL!!!! TAKE COUGH SYRUP IF YOU HAVE AN ANNOYING, NASTY COUGH!!!
Hopefully the point has come across. Still not convinced men are the weaker sex? Here’s a fact for you: women have a lower pain threshold than men, but at the same time have a higher pain level – so we do feel pain sooner, but we can also endure pain longer before we pass out. You men are so weak.

Say What!?

Ok, two (little) articles in the Dutch Metro (18 November 2005, respectively page 7 and 17) which shocked the living daylights out of me. Yep, this is somewhat exaggerated, but still 2 articles which attracted my attention.

First of all, it seems that 8 hours of sleep per night is not that healthy. People who sleep 8 hours per night have a 12% higher change on a premature death than people who sleep 6.7 - 7.5 hours. Researchers of the University of San Diego, the little article says, have studied over a million people on their conduct of sleep, in the ages 30 till 102. If you sleep over 8.5 hours or less than 4, the change of a premature death is even more than 15%. That sucks, if it’s true, for I’m a big fan of sleeping and spending my day in or on bed.

Secondly, I never knew being a professional gamer could be that good for your bank account!! Starting from Sunday, the top 32 players of ‘Painkiller’ will gather in New York for the unofficial World Championship. Here they compete for the largest sum of prize money ever divided on a gaming tournament. The big favourite is the Dutch Sander Kaasjager (20) from Huizen. And if everything goes according to plan, he will cash in $150000 on Tuesday! So far he has already won a total of $118000 on prize money. He may be called the best earning gamer in the world. So just shoot me now… if I had any idea what was at stake when I was young, I would have been into gaming from the start, in stead of watching my brothers play a game…. I want that kind of money…. And then spend it on books :D

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

The other day I heard that research had shown that women spend 2 years of their lives in front of a mirror. Two years… Making themselves more beautiful/prettier/cuter than they already are. Trying to conform to the given standards in the magazines. Doing their hair and make-up… Just ignore the fact that if you don’t have any natural beauty of your own, make-up alone will not suffice. Which brings me to plastic surgery.
I understand why some women (and men) would want to submit to plastic surgery. I really do. Personally I wouldn’t – for I’m too chickenshit for something like that. Besides that, I am cute all of my own and don’t want to change my appearance, let alone correct my nose. And if I wanted to lose weight I’d change my diet (less candy, sweets and chocolate, and less soft drink) and perhaps start exercising. That is the healthiest way anyway. But some women, who undergo surgery, just don’t need it. They are cute and beautiful and pretty and slim. And they still undergo surgery… I don’t get that. I don’t get programmes like ‘Perfect!’ where gorgeous women undergo surgery to become ‘prefect’ by their own definitions and own likings. But hey, doesn’t the saying go ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’? And unfortunately beautiful people earn more, have a better social life and are more successful in life in general. Life sucks, life’s a bitch and hard as a rock. You’re fat, you’re ugly, and you’re not perfect. Don’t accept your own looks and life. Undergo surgery. Take the easy way out, cause life’s hard as it is with you being just cute, pretty or beautiful…. Just for your information, this is just a tad bit sarcastic.

Under Pressure :P

It has been quite some time since I last wrote for my blog. I have neglected my blog for nearly a year, but lately I felt an urge to do something about that. To conjure something up and just write. There is only one problem with that - I normally don’t want to write just anything. It has to make sense, if only to me, and it has to lead somewhere. It has to have a point.
So here I am, writing a blog entry that hasn’t got a point at all. It is just a notification of the fact that I will attempt to write on a regular basis from now on. If you want to thank or damn someone for this, for I have had a boost from a friend, go to http://ysgrublaidd.blogspot.com/ and just leave him a message.
Oh, and on a personal note to you Ys… I said I would see if I could devise something for you as entry today, and you didn’t believe me… Shows you, you were just plain wrong in not trusting me on this ;) And yeah, your pressure has helped :D

On a side note: When I was writing this blog entry, I heard ‘Under Pressure’ from Queen and David Bowie. Isn’t that just ironic...