*Sigh* Vote!!

Ok, it’s November 22 and it’s the day of the elections here. We have the right to choose for a (new) government. Perhaps even the obligation to choose a new government… Why obligation, well, because if you don’t go and vote, I think you don’t have the right to bitch about what government your country has and what they choose to do. And I know, no matter what I’m going to vote, I’ll bitch about my government. It’s what people do. Cause you have to bitch about something, don’t you? Politics never turn out to be what the politicians said it would be. Politicians compromise, make mistakes, etc. Promises made, get forgotten, get changed, get compromised. Politics is an ever changing subject and you just don’t really/precisely know what you’re getting yourself into. But you do have to vote so your country has the government, the political parties, you think will do the best, while understanding that it will never turn out to be as the parties promised.
That said… I haven’t the faintest idea what I’m going to vote… *Sigh* I am going to vote. I’m not going to let my vote go to waste. But, I don’t yet know whom or what party I’m going to vote for… *Sigh* I have till 9 o’clock this evening… I hope I don’t have to make a last minute decision. Voting sucks but it’s ever so important!! *Sigh*

Not an addict...

You know the song, right, from K’s Choice? So let me first of all say, I am and will never ever, ever be an addict, or admit it… Ok, with that out of the way, I’m just a tad bit addicted to this little puzzle, called Sudoku. No, I’m not an addict, what did I just say… sjeez… Do read carefully, please ;-)
Anyway, as I was playing yet another sudoku, I remembered something… We, the Dutch, have a new champion in our midst. The 17-year old Aniek Huijsman has won the WC Sudoku in London, October 15th. She not only won the title of being the best in the world, but also a holiday to Sweden. That’s nice… Perhaps a good reason to participate in the next WC Sudoku ;-)
But if a trip to Sweden isn’t good enough for you to start playing, those few who don’t play it (yet), perhaps you might consider playing it for other reasons… For it can lower your blood pressure, relieve stress and even make you smarter. If I ever would get an addiction, this would be the least harmful addiction to get addicted to. But, as I said, I'm not an addict… You know the song. If not (shame on you ;-)) you can find the lyrics here.

Chitchat

I just don’t know. I know it’s shocking, but it’s the truth. I don’t know what to say in this blog… It’s been so long since I wrote an entry that I’m out of practice… Ok. Ok, you’re right, it’s a terrible excuse. Forgive me.

Let’s talk about the reason why it’s been so long… My Masters :D Yeah, it kept me busy. But in the end, it was all worth it :D Oh yeah, I have my degree :D Oh yeah, I’m good :P I am a student no more… And I haven’t yet started a new study, so I’m truly a student no more. My thesis, if you’re interested, is about the Irish tale Togail Bruidne Da Derga. It’s called ‘The kingship in Togail Bruidne Da Derga’ and I investigate the kingship in perspective of the Irish laws and the theories we now know and accept concerning these laws and also kingship. I investigate if what this story tells, what it depicts about kingship, agrees with what we know now. Alas, it’s in Dutch. So sorry for all you English speaking folk out there who can’t read Dutch (shame on you ;))… But you can always e-mail me if you’re interested. Perhaps we can work something out.

So, for another subject… it’s Animal/Pet’s Day :D My little (but way taller) brother has two of the most cutest and adorable ferrets. One is white and the other’s brown. They have a nice life, all do I say so myself. They lack of nothing anyway. So, this is my queue to talk about the animals that are less fortunate… All those animals that are being abused and ill-treated. Watch the programme on Animal Planet about the animal cops (isn’t it also called Animal Cops?) The things they sometimes show are horrible, beyond comprehension. I at least for one can’t comprehend why people treat their animals the way they do sometimes. I know it should be a joyous day, at least for the animals, but we should take a minute and consider the animals that aren’t so fortunate.
But now, go pamper your pet! He’ll/She’ll enjoy it. If your pet doesn’t like being groomed or petted, then give special attention to their food. Or give it a new toy to play with. Or whatever. Show that you love it, more than you otherwise already do. Cause they deserve it. They bring us joy and they give us their love. We should pay that back.

So now I’m kinda out of anything to talk about… I wish you and your pet a happy and beautiful day. Talk to you soon, when I have other (perhaps more interesting) things to say.

Year of the Dog

It’s been a while again, but I’ve been a bit busy, writing two essays, coping with some personal shit, so I apologise that I haven’t written this last Sunday when the new Chinese year came and I read something which gave me the idea of writing this entry. Or at least sooner than today. So I wish everybody a belated happy new lunar year - of the dog.
I myself am a dog, so this should be my year :D Though, the start of this new lunar year also didn’t quite go as I planned, wished or hoped for. But let me start at the beginning.
Last Sunday I read in our TV-guide that the year of the dog had started and there were things stated about every Chinese zodiac sign. Here’s what mine said:

‘The Dog
Loyal, enthusiastic, in possession of a sharp intuition. The Dog is the first person who will help you, if you need it. Someone who you can always count on. Injustice makes him (or her :P) furious, but in a crisis situation he keeps his head together. Dogs need a goal though, otherwise they tend to get a bit down/crestfallen. They often have many fans. They don’t have any interest for money, as long as it’s there…
Other Dogs Bill Clinton, Jennifer Lopez, Wendy van Dijk, Beyoncé and Ronald & Frank de Boer (though I assume most of you won’t know Wendy, perhaps you do know the brothers De Boer).
Top match Horse, Pig, Tiger en Monkey.
2006 The year of the Dog is one to enjoy. Promotion, more money… Chances everywhere! The year is filled with them, but you have to take action; you won’t get it for free. Some Dogs will move or will make an expensive purchase. You should watch your money/dimes(?). This is also the year to put a mark behind/to strike out disappointments of the past. You are not a star in forgetting, but you should nevertheless try it.’

As horoscopes go, this suits me just fine.
A chance already had come by, but for me it was already a closed door when I went for it. For me it was too little too late. But doors come by and go. When one closes, another opens. So, I don’t mourn the loss of that first door. I may regret not acting sooner, but with hindsight I think it is perhaps for the best. That closed door though, should realise that some things will never take place anymore. Some things spoken of in the past. He should also realise he didn’t choose the best time telling when and what he did. He should have waited. And that sucks the most. Bloody basterd. As the horoscope said, we are not very good at forgetting. I may forgive, but I will not forget for at least a while. Closed doors are a two way junction. Besides, I’m also a Scorpio, and don’t they tend to be vengeful? Ah well, some things will just not take place anymore. That’s revenge enough I suppose. That closed door and I will still be good friends, buddies, and mates. But I will now focus on other doors open.

Chances everywhere it says. Well, talking about promotion then, I hope to get my MA in Celtic Languages & Culture this year. As I said, I was busy writing two essays. They were due yesterday and I have handed them in (by mail). So now I await my marks with much anticipation. I am not done yet though, not by far. I still have 2 courses to follow and a MA thesis to write. But I believe I will get my diploma this year :D And then it’s of to another study ;) And also finding a job, which supports the horoscope’s prediction of more money :P
Chances everywhere! I feel it’s going to be a good year!

Think in the colour of your heart

I live nearby Rotterdam. I take the subway and the train and I am mostly always surrounded by… Hmm, how do I say this without sounding like a racist… I am mostly always surrounded by people whose origin is clearly not Dutch. They may have been born in The Netherlands, but their ancestors are not. Nothing wrong with that. On paper I also am allochtonous – a foreigner in my own country since my mom was born in Australia (and that’s also the reason why companies would be very happy to hire me; I’m white, female and on paper a ‘foreigner’). Anyway, I sit in the subway and the train and I hear them speak but cannot understand them cause they don’t speak Dutch. I walk on the streets and the same goes.
So why do I tell this? Well our minister of Integration has said she wanted to look into sharpening the codes of behaviour of integration, so that ‘foreigners’ who live here learn the values of our country better. One of the things she was thinking of was that ‘foreigners’ should only speak Dutch on the streets when surrounded by Dutch, and thus in subways and trains. I can understand where she is coming from. How I wish I could understand people who aren’t speaking Dutch, English or perhaps German, wanting to know what they are saying and if it concerns me.
But, though I can understand where she is coming from, I don’t think it is very rationally of her wanting to set this code. One, you can’t check everyone every minute of the day, everywhere they are, checking if they are speaking Dutch. Secondly, if I’m in another country with some friends, I also only speak their language when talking to a native of the country, and that is if I can speak the language. Otherwise it’s English for me. I can even imagine the same goes when I live for a longer period of time in that same country, and I have learned the language, I still will speak Dutch with my friends and family. Thirdly, it isn’t very liberal to limit people in their choice of speech. The Netherlands are a democratic and free country with a multi ethnical culture. You should not be restricted in your speech, though you should learn the Dutch language if you plan to live here. That is a good rule I think for immigrants. I don’t think that’s racist. And it’s just polite to speak Dutch if you’re surrounded by Dutch, but to set it is as a code that’s not doable.

I’ve been to a housewarmings party last night. It was fun. Too bad there isn’t an English equivalent of ‘gezellig’, cause that’s what it was. Perhaps cosy, but that has a different intonation and doesn’t give the right ambience. Anyways, I was sitting there and these two guys were having fun, joking about things and ‘foreigners’. Nothing serious and I laughed. So, a third guy called me racist. I wasn’t even joking, only laughing a bit, and I am the one who’s called a racist. It wasn’t serious, me being called a racist, so I am not concerned about that. But it was the second time in my life that I’ve been called a racist. And being called so just makes me start thinking of how I act. The first time was when I was standing in the train, early one morning when I had to go to college. I don’t like standing in the train. I just don’t. Secondly, I usually look grumpy towards people I don’t know. Just a defence of mine. One of my new year resolutions was to look cheery when going outside, but that besides. So, I was standing in the train and two Muslim girls were sitting in front of me. And one of them took it personally that I wasn’t looking cheery and was grumpy standing in the train. That dumb ass cow. Anyways, she too called me racist, only she meant it. You can call me a lot of thing. Call me a bitch and I will even acknowledge I am. But I will not let myself get called a racist and not defend myself. So I spoke back at that and she didn’t like that I spoke back. Dumb ass cow. But, that dumb ass cow attacked me. Stupid bitch. She couldn’t do anything to me, surrounded by bystanders, one of which jumped in when she grabbed me by the throat, which wasn’t a smart move of her since I was wearing a thick turtle-neck/roll-neck… and she wasn’t… what ya think I did? And who’d ya think would have been more successful choking the other if one male bystander hadn’t interfered? (Though truth be told, I wasn’t choking her or going to, just holding her.) But, the situation did make me start to think of how I act. Can you be a racist without knowing it and when you yourself start wondering if you are one, just because one person said so? Though, you yourself have never thought so? I must admit you can be one without knowing it, or thinking so. But, can you delude yourself that you aren’t one when you start thinking about it truthfully cause someone said you were? After that first time, after I started wondering truthfully, I came to the conclusion that I am not a racist, never have and never will be, no matter how much I joke and laugh. Cause I think in the colour of my heart. Not in black. Not in white. Not in black or white. There’s a Dutch song stating that; ‘don’t think black, don’t think white, don’t think black-white, but in the colour of your heart’ (roughly translated). It’s good advice.
Let people be who they are, though they should abide to the rules and values of the country they live in. Let them speak the language they want, annoying as it can be if you can't understand it, and although they should also be able to speak the language of the country they live in. Don’t think that, because of one black sheep, everyone is. Think in the colour of your heart, because regarding that, everyone is equal.

A mother’s love

I am 23. It isn’t and doesn’t sound old, but I am at an age where I start to think about the future; a husband, career, kids. Not in the direct future, God forbid, let me please first finish my studies and find a decent job, but sometimes I dream of a cute, sweet little girl whom I can love unconditionally. Or a cute, sweet little boy. I haven’t yet decided which sex I want first :P I think a boy, and then a girl so the girl can have crushes on her brother’s friends. That’s how it went with me ;-)
But anyway, why I tell this, is that I can’t understand mothers who kill their children, or try to sell them on internet. That’s the case what happened here in the Netherlands last week and the week before last. A couple of dead babies were found. One of the mothers tried to commit suicide afterwards with a friend of hers, which failed, but her little girl was already dead by suffocation. And another mother tried to gave away her fourth or fifth (I can’t remember) child on marktplaats.nl, a Dutch auction site. The site immediately removed the offer and the police was informed. Anyway, the woman did this because she couldn’t take care for it and was not a very motherly woman. I think that if you don’t want a child, you shouldn’t get pregnant, and if you do get pregnant and you decide that you don’t want it, you either give it up for adoption, or you get an abortion. Personally, I would never go for the abortion. I do think that a woman should have the opportunity to have an abortion, though I think the period in which a woman can have one, should be reduced from 24 weeks to…less. But I would not go for the abortion. If I would get pregnant and I can’t care for the child, I would give it up for adoption with pain in my heart. Or that’s what I imagine anyway. Hey, I already almost cry when I see animals being hurt on Animal Planet… giving away your child should be more devastating for a woman, right? Let alone kill it…

The Terminator does it again

Last night the 76 year old Clarence Ray Allen has been put to death, a day after his 76 birthday. Allan had heart problems, was in a wheelchair, blind and almost entirely deaf. He was convicted as principal for three murders in 1982. So, our good ol’ terminator Arnold, again, didn’t give clemency. Allan is the 2nd oldest American to been put to death and the fourth person who didn’t get clemency from Arnold. By doing so, Arnold ignored a request made by the human rights organisation ‘Raad van Europa’ to give clemency to such an old man.
So, as I said, I am against capital punishment. Let these guys rot in prison, with no hope of any escape from their own little private hell, in which they may not have any contact with the outside, family included, and without any luxury. Arnold should have given the man clemency, he should be very reluctant to deny clemency and with that give permission to execute someone. Though in theory and practice Arnold is not responsible for the man’s death, still his death comes down to his decision to deny clemency. I wonder how Arnold can live with his decisions. The lives of a lot of men are in his hands, and I don’t think it are very capable hands… Nonetheless, there are even less capable hands… Bush can decide over the lives of the entire country… America is doomed. I hope you all live to see the next elections ;-)

Can anybody find me...

It’s been a while since my last entry, I've been busy. But I promise to try and make it up to you. So let me see… The dentist was fine. Always fun. And I’m not being sarcastic. We have a very relaxed dentist, and we always have fun. I also actually don’t have any problem with going to the dentist, since I never have any problems with my teeth. Thank God. But, besides that, it gives me the chance to skip classes with a legit reason :D When in high school, I had braces and every time I went to the orthodontist, I got permission from my mom to stay home after I had seen him… Ah, the good ol’ days… ;-) Now I stay just home from college illegally, when I don’t feel like going :P

Anyway, that same evening I had to go to a little going away party for a friend of mine. She had to go back to Ireland – how dreadful – to finish her work placement. Though I really wanted to go to the party, I also didn’t want to go. The party was supposed to be a party such as that we, my girlfriends and I, usually have. Just a group of girls having fun, talking and perhaps watch a movie. But those don’t include guys, and the guys of my friends were invited to this party. I don’t mind parties which include guys, but the ambience is different. So, I wanted to go, but also kinda didn’t.
One of my friends is just since recently started to be a couple. And it was so very typical at this little party. The two couples together on the couch, a third that hadn’t brought her guy, next to them, saying she was normally always with him. My other friend and I who aren’t with someone right now, on the opposite wall. Afterwards we were happy to have left, for the couples were being so obvious. Anyway, my friend who just recently has gotten herself a man has done so through an internet dating service. And those things seem to work, as I understand many have found their better half via dating services. Still, I don’t see myself ever subscribing to such a service. Not even when I’m that desperate for a guy. I just believe that I can fall in love with a man without a dating service, and it being mutual. However, some people I consider to be very good friends I met on internet. So I can’t say I never met someone through internet, but it was just without a dating service :P
Do you know that song of Queen, ‘Can anybody find me, somebody to love?’ If someone can, it’s a dating service apparently. So, I should never say never is the conclusion. But still… I think I am better than a dating service.

Two shitty decrees

What better way to forget my own little problem for a while, than to bitch about something. This time I will not bitch about Bush, or the government of America and her decisions, or something else concerning America which I could bitch about. This time, it concerns my own little country. See, I’m fair, I don’t discriminate America ;)

On this first day of the new year, a couple of decrees has set in (is that the right form of expression?). Anyway, the first has to do with the Dutch language. After a period of ten years it has been decided by an independent organ to once again adjust grammar and spelling. And that is just nonsense. The way this works is that this organ gets letters in which people ask why this works this way and that, that way. They get letters with questions concerning the Dutch language. If they have enough letters about one problem they can decide to change the language or the rule so that it becomes easier and more comprehendible. So, the changes that organ has decided should take place, has set in on this first day of 2006. But, they don’t make the language that much easier or better to comprehend in my eyes. And I am not the only one thinking this. National papers and magazines have declared to ignore the changes and go with what they know of old. Most of the Dutch public agrees. The people who go with the changes are, no big surprise since they most always see things different than the Dutch, the Belgians. They have said to fully accept the changes. That is just such a stupid thing to do. But hey, no big surprise there… they’re Belgians.
The second decree has to do with the care system in the Netherlands. They, the government, had decided it should change, but not for the better as I see it. Where we once had a system where there were 2 groups of insurants, we now have a system where we have only one group. But, though this change should have taken away the differences between the 2 groups, they still exist, only in an altered form. It shouldn’t have been hard for the government to have seen this coming, they should have taken use of what little intelligence they combined have, and realise that it wasn’t for the better, to introduce an altered care system. But hey, all governments are the same for that matter and are to blind to see their own incapability in all kind of different matters and don’t see when they have failed the public. Cause I do see it as failing, the new system. It isn’t for the better.

So, I’m through bitching for the evening. Now I can go back to my own little problem and feel shitty a little more. Tomorrow morning I also have to go to the dentist, and though I know nothing is wrong, I don’t want to go. At the moment I just feel too shitty for a dental appointment, where I have to be cheerful and a happy little camper.

Where I wish upon a star

When I was in my senior year of our equivalent of high school, five years ago, I thought I would not graduate, at least not that year. My grades weren’t hopeful in my eyes, my grandma past away shortly before my first school exams and I just hadn’t a good feeling about it all. Anyway it was in the winter and at that time, I still played tennis and still had tennis lessons. It was when my friend and I got back after a lesson that I saw a falling star. My friend hadn’t seen it and I made my wish. I wished that I would graduate; I wanted so much for that wish to come true. And it did. I had prepared to not graduate and to do the year over, but I graduated. And I remembered my wish. Rationally I can understand that my wish had nothing to do with my graduation but everything with my input and the way I did my final exams; totally relaxed. But still, I can’t say for sure my wish upon that falling star, has nothing to do with it.
Would my falling star still grant wishes? Cause once more I wish upon a star.

Last night was New Year. And before I go on, I wish you all a good new year and hope all of you had a great time. Personally I don’t feel a new year has begun. Till ten o’clock p.m. I was studying. That doesn’t mean I hadn’t a good time when the clock finally struck 12. But I think I royally screwed up around a quarter till two. I got a phone call from my acquaintance whom was in love with me. And there lies the part I royally screwed up. I was at my neighbours and their big dog had lain herself upon my lap so it took some time before I could answer my phone properly. I took interest in him and I really was interested and wanted to know how he was doing, but I think the damage at that point had already been done.
So today I already thought life wasn’t very fair and felt a bit shitty for the way I might have treated him. I got on the internet and logged in at msn but he wasn’t online so I decided to get going with my studies again, while I put my msn on ‘occupied’. When I looked up I was invited into a multiple chat. And to my VERY BIG SURPRISE, my acquaintance was also in that chat and he was ‘offline’ as far as I saw. So I can’t get passed the logical conclusion that he has blocked me, while he had said that he wouldn’t do that; for he replied in the chat, and still he was offline for me. So now, life sucks even more. What a good way to start the New Year. I feel betrayed. I haven’t the knowledge of his reasons behind his action, I don’t even know for sure he has blocked me, so for all I know it is as innocent as a new born (it sounds naïve even to me), but still I feel betrayed.

So I wish upon a star that this year will be a lot better than 2005 and my start will not prove to be an omen of the coming year.