Typical Woman?

I can be typical woman towards the men in my life. I am not talking about friends who happen to be male, but about my brothers and my father.

Bear with me ok, it’s quite a long story.

When my oldest brother got his first girlfriend, I really didn’t like her at all. You may even say I hated her. The reason for this was that, before she came round, I had him all to myself. It may sound a little naïve, but at the time I was 16 (he was 18) and except for his (male) friends, no girl had ever come into our home for him. So I was jealous. Jealous she had his attention and I didn’t when she was around, and jealous because in my eyes she was more beautiful than I. Why else would she have my brother’s affection while I didn’t have a boyfriend? Why else would we (my brother and I) be growing apart if not for her? My ‘hate’ didn’t last long; she came to my room one day, crying. Yep, so we talked and I became a lot more at ease with her, and to some extend, we became friends. My brother and she finally broke their relation because my brother got sick of travelling half the country to get to her (it’s a little country, The Netherlands, but it still takes quite some time to get from one end to the other, especially by train). Since they ended their relation I have seen her once more, when she came to look us all up, and after that she has visited my brother’s new place once. I was quite surprised when he told that she at visited him at his new place, and he hadn’t even told that right away. It was at dinner once, I don’t know how long after she visited him. But, I was just a little disappointed that I didn’t have the chance to meet up with her. She was/is quite nice and I very much liked her after that talk of ours.

Does this have a point? Yes it does. Bear with me, please.

My father has been married once before, before he met my mother. They were married for 8 years and the brake up wasn’t sweet from what I understand. It was hell. It was blood and murder (figurative speaking of course). Thank God no children were involved.
And after a period of 25 years, they finally decided they wanted to come together to meet up, and talk to each other, exchanging photo’s and things they still had of one another. This was arranged through my aunt, who sometimes came/comes in contact with the ex.
So, my father and his ex had a meeting once more, today. Their third meeting. It seems her children are very interested in my father, who he is, what he looks like. And she apparently is interested in us children. So, during dinner my father asked if we (my little brother of 19, and I) were just as curious at his ex, as her children were at him. My little brother had a very sensible view to the situation; he just wasn’t interested in her children or in her, who they are, and what they all look like. It also didn’t bother him that they were meeting. If my father wanted to meet her, fine with him.
It bothers me though, just a bit. I don’t want to meet her or her husband. I am not interested what se looks like (it’s enough I know she is Surinamese), and who she is. Neither am I interested in her children. It didn’t bother me that they wanted to talk things over, that they wanted to catch up with one another. It really didn’t bother me that they had a second meeting. But the third? It seems to be that she has grasped control over my father (perhaps once more); it seems to me that when they meet, he is chasing after her (every time they meet, he has the longest drive); it seems to me that she holds all the power in hands.
My father thought that I had a very feminine view to the situation (and was surprised), and that I was seeing his ex as an opponent. I am not; at least I don’t think so. He said that if it didn’t bother him, meeting a friend and doing more for that meeting than she, than who cares? Ok, that’s fair, but can she not come to where we life, instead of him driving each single time to her? My father was late for dinner tonight, because he was held up in a file/traffic-jam after he had met her. I wonder if she had the same problem, I doubt it.
Further more, it bothers me that he has seen this woman now for three times, when he hasn’t seen his true friends once this whole year.
I was told that his ex was so interested in us that my mother suggested celebrating my father’s birthday (he hasn’t done that for quite some time now), so that she can all meet us, and his brothers and sisters who she also wanted to see. I don’t want to meet her, I don’t have the urge, and I don’t feel the need.
Am I being typical woman? Am I defending my mother who hasn’t have a problem with the meetings, except for the fact that she too thinks his ex has to come this way for once, instead of him that way? Am I sticking up for my father’s best interest with my opinion she for once has the longer drive?
Or am I just being typical, and as with my brother, see these meetings more and more as an invasion of my territory? Do I think she is stealing my father’s attention from me? I don’t think so. But hey, it could just as well be true. Maybe, I am just not very good at sharing my brothers and father.

Stop the slaughter of Seals!!!

I got a ‘thank you note’ today from ‘Seal Rehabilitation and Research Centre in Pieterburen’. A Dutch organization which, among others, engages in the shelter of seals, which got in trouble or had gotten sick. Lenie ’t Hart is the managing director of Seal Rehabilitation and Research Centre in Pieterburen, the Netherlands.

At the beginning of this year, the Canadian government decided to kill nearly a million seals over a period of 3 years, for the seals would eat too much cod and thus fishermen could no longer catch enough fish.
So, Pieterburen started an online action to collect the names of people who don’t agree with the killing. And I signed it. For this I got the thank you note. In this e-mail they also asked if I could be so kind to send the e-mail to friends and acquaintances who haven’t yet signed the list.
I don’t know if foreign organizations have done anything to stop the slaughter, i.e. collect names and/or signatures, but if not, I now ask everybody who hasn’t heard anything of this decision of Canada, and who hasn’t supported the stopping of this decision, to go to http://www.stopdezeehondenmoord.nl/en/index.html and sign the action. Via this site (it’s all in English) you can also read more about why this decision of the government is a waste of time and will not help the fishermen to catch more fish. You can also read the letter Lenie sent to the Canadian ambassador in the Netherlands.

When I got the e-mail, I once more took a look at the site. I really don’t do this very often, but hey, I got the note right? So, in the news section (the one from 4th October 2004) I read that Norway (or the minister of fishery) wanted to let visitors who come to Norway, be able to hunt seals in the fjords.
I really don’t get such decisions. Why, I ask myself, would anybody want to hunt down and kill a seal? They are such sweet, adorable creatures. Especially at young age, when they still have a white fur.
I am not a vegetarian, and so I do eat meat, and I do wear leather (if only in my shoes), but I am not an advocate of wearing fur, from whichever animal. It may look ever so beautiful, I will not buy a fur coat. And this is the reason why people still kill seals, is it not? For their fur?

If anybody wants more info on Pieterburen, you can take a look at http://www.zeehondencreche.nl/english/index.htm. This is the English version, which is not as elaborate as the Dutch version, but it contains a lot of information concerning the organization.

I hope you will all sign the petition.

Liar, Liar pants on fire

Have you ever wondered how you can tell when one is lying to you? You can see it by ones eyes. Yes, you truly can. If someone is lying, their eyes hold a certain position. I think the position is that they look to the top left corner of the eyes. But I don’t know for sure anymore. Maybe someone can let me know?
Anyhow, I was waiting for my train on a bench on the platform, when a woman came up to me and asked if I knew which exit she would have to take to go to the police station. And I didn’t know. But, I didn’t want to say that flat to her face. So, I began thinking, and my eyes went to the (low) right corner. I thought a few moments and told her I didn’t know, and she went on her way, thanking me anyways for the trouble.
That made me thinking. I can lie my ass of and you would be convinced I was telling the truth. I don’t sweat on the moment, and I won’t make a nervous impression. I have done it a couple times before: lying to a teacher about homework I didn’t do but convincing him I just forgot to take my homework with me; telling my father that it was all just a misunderstanding when in fact I did ignore him for half a week or so. I don’t lie often, or better, I don’t often lie that big, cause I am still convinced that telling the truth is the easiest and right thing to do, but when in need, I can do it. And that makes me perfect for this society, since research has shown that people who can lie convincingly, are socially better integrated, have more friends, and better jobs. Their social status is higher than those who can’t lie. It’s just a sad truth when you think about it. Lie and you will succeed in life!
But then again, what would be the outcome if people stopped lying? Imagine going to work and telling everyone at work how you really feel about him or her. All those times when you lied your ass off to convince them you did like them, very much even so. Yeah, sometimes you can better lie, than tell the truth. You don’t want to tell your friend that that hairdo sucks by life, or that the dress which she totally loves wasn’t worn since prehistory. And you certainly may not tell him that he really has to go the hairdresser or his girlfriend just doesn’t suit him. You may not tell him that. So lie, and save your job, your friendships, and your social life. Lie and still have the possibility to manipulate, and use people. Lie and be happy!
Right, happy, isn’t that just a relative concept?

Hitchhiking Pigeon?

I dislike pigeons. I don’t say ‘hate’ because that’s too strong a word. So, I dislike them. Why? Well, my father likes to call them the rats of the sky, flying rats. I can think of a few other birds for which this qualification could be true, but in this case, it means the pigeons. I don’t fully agree with him, but he isn’t wrong either. They do eat everything they can get, and when they eat the wrong food, they tend to get super bad looking, they tend to get sick. Strange, nòn? If only people would stop feeding them crap like French fries with mayo. Further more, they beg and beg and beg, if you let them, and shit and shit and shit (there is nothing you can do about that). So, I dislike them because my father has influenced me to do so, and because he is partly right. But this besides the point I want to make.
When I want to get to college, I first have to go by metro, and then by train to get to the university. So, I’m sitting in the metro when I see a pigeon searching the place for food, in the metro. All but a few doors are closed, and none of the open doors are near the pigeon so one can assume he came in through another door in another part of the metro. Thus, people, I would assume, have seen the pigeon come in. They have seen the pigeon come in and did nothing. What are they thinking when they see a pigeon walking into a metro? Hey, that pigeon obviously wants to go to another place, but he doesn’t want to fly? After all, it is winter, and the metro is a lot warmer. Are they fucking nuts? A pigeon in a metro and they don’t chase it away, back outside? Why, in Gods name, why don’t they chase it away, especially when it isn’t crowded in the metro and you don’t risk losing your seat?
I dislike pigeons, but to let them get stressed in a metro, whether or not it is crowded, that’s not my m.o. either. Neither, is it to make my journey more uncomfortable by letting a pigeon stay in the metro where it can make a lot of nuisance. So, I got up and chased the pigeon out. I went back to my still empty seat and wondered once more, why the people in the other part didn’t chase the pigeon away when they saw he wasn’t walking out the metro once he got in.

My very first blog

Yeah, my first blog attempt ever!

So, my very first attempt to keep a virtual diary. I dare questioning my own consistency concerning this thing. For that matter, I wonder if my English grammar and vocabulary will suffice. I really don’t think so, since English isn’t my native tongue. It would be a lot easier if I would do this in Dutch, for that is my first language and a lot of people (the Dutch) would appreciate it. It is much easier to read and write in your own language, I think. But, thank God for dictionaries. In my opinion it wouldn't be fair if only Dutch people could read this, so you all just have to do with my English, and the Dutch should be able to read English. Are we not known for our language skills (ok, don't answer that one).