Think in the colour of your heart

I live nearby Rotterdam. I take the subway and the train and I am mostly always surrounded by… Hmm, how do I say this without sounding like a racist… I am mostly always surrounded by people whose origin is clearly not Dutch. They may have been born in The Netherlands, but their ancestors are not. Nothing wrong with that. On paper I also am allochtonous – a foreigner in my own country since my mom was born in Australia (and that’s also the reason why companies would be very happy to hire me; I’m white, female and on paper a ‘foreigner’). Anyway, I sit in the subway and the train and I hear them speak but cannot understand them cause they don’t speak Dutch. I walk on the streets and the same goes.
So why do I tell this? Well our minister of Integration has said she wanted to look into sharpening the codes of behaviour of integration, so that ‘foreigners’ who live here learn the values of our country better. One of the things she was thinking of was that ‘foreigners’ should only speak Dutch on the streets when surrounded by Dutch, and thus in subways and trains. I can understand where she is coming from. How I wish I could understand people who aren’t speaking Dutch, English or perhaps German, wanting to know what they are saying and if it concerns me.
But, though I can understand where she is coming from, I don’t think it is very rationally of her wanting to set this code. One, you can’t check everyone every minute of the day, everywhere they are, checking if they are speaking Dutch. Secondly, if I’m in another country with some friends, I also only speak their language when talking to a native of the country, and that is if I can speak the language. Otherwise it’s English for me. I can even imagine the same goes when I live for a longer period of time in that same country, and I have learned the language, I still will speak Dutch with my friends and family. Thirdly, it isn’t very liberal to limit people in their choice of speech. The Netherlands are a democratic and free country with a multi ethnical culture. You should not be restricted in your speech, though you should learn the Dutch language if you plan to live here. That is a good rule I think for immigrants. I don’t think that’s racist. And it’s just polite to speak Dutch if you’re surrounded by Dutch, but to set it is as a code that’s not doable.

I’ve been to a housewarmings party last night. It was fun. Too bad there isn’t an English equivalent of ‘gezellig’, cause that’s what it was. Perhaps cosy, but that has a different intonation and doesn’t give the right ambience. Anyways, I was sitting there and these two guys were having fun, joking about things and ‘foreigners’. Nothing serious and I laughed. So, a third guy called me racist. I wasn’t even joking, only laughing a bit, and I am the one who’s called a racist. It wasn’t serious, me being called a racist, so I am not concerned about that. But it was the second time in my life that I’ve been called a racist. And being called so just makes me start thinking of how I act. The first time was when I was standing in the train, early one morning when I had to go to college. I don’t like standing in the train. I just don’t. Secondly, I usually look grumpy towards people I don’t know. Just a defence of mine. One of my new year resolutions was to look cheery when going outside, but that besides. So, I was standing in the train and two Muslim girls were sitting in front of me. And one of them took it personally that I wasn’t looking cheery and was grumpy standing in the train. That dumb ass cow. Anyways, she too called me racist, only she meant it. You can call me a lot of thing. Call me a bitch and I will even acknowledge I am. But I will not let myself get called a racist and not defend myself. So I spoke back at that and she didn’t like that I spoke back. Dumb ass cow. But, that dumb ass cow attacked me. Stupid bitch. She couldn’t do anything to me, surrounded by bystanders, one of which jumped in when she grabbed me by the throat, which wasn’t a smart move of her since I was wearing a thick turtle-neck/roll-neck… and she wasn’t… what ya think I did? And who’d ya think would have been more successful choking the other if one male bystander hadn’t interfered? (Though truth be told, I wasn’t choking her or going to, just holding her.) But, the situation did make me start to think of how I act. Can you be a racist without knowing it and when you yourself start wondering if you are one, just because one person said so? Though, you yourself have never thought so? I must admit you can be one without knowing it, or thinking so. But, can you delude yourself that you aren’t one when you start thinking about it truthfully cause someone said you were? After that first time, after I started wondering truthfully, I came to the conclusion that I am not a racist, never have and never will be, no matter how much I joke and laugh. Cause I think in the colour of my heart. Not in black. Not in white. Not in black or white. There’s a Dutch song stating that; ‘don’t think black, don’t think white, don’t think black-white, but in the colour of your heart’ (roughly translated). It’s good advice.
Let people be who they are, though they should abide to the rules and values of the country they live in. Let them speak the language they want, annoying as it can be if you can't understand it, and although they should also be able to speak the language of the country they live in. Don’t think that, because of one black sheep, everyone is. Think in the colour of your heart, because regarding that, everyone is equal.