This and That

It’s been a while… again… I see a trend… So sorry.
I assume you all know Laurell K. Hamilton? If not, she’s a writer, and she has a blog (look for it here). Anyway, she blogs regularly, and that was kind of my intention too when I first started this blog, and then, continued with it, and continued with it again… I think we can draw the conclusion that I’m not good at keeping this blog going… Now, this doesn’t mean I’m quitting. By no means does it mean that. But perhaps, there is an explanation for the fact I don’t post on a regular basis. For I once read that people only blog when they have something painful/hurtful to share. When they are sad and want somebody to know about their sadness… And I, well, I am quite happy. Sure, I have had difficulties the past year, the past months, but nothing I wanted to share with you guys. You can say however: but, what with all the other people whom blog regularly and don’t share their sadness etc… Uh, good point… They have something to say and I didn’t the past months. Or nothing I wanted to share anyway.
So what’s up? Well, let me first say I hope everybody had a nice Christmas and a good New Year’s Eve. Concerning that, I wish everybody a very, very, very 3 months or so belated Happy New Year :P My New Year’s Eve was absolutely fine. I spent it with my new boyfriend :D And I gotta say, I just love him. He’s just the sweetest and cutest, most wonderful guy I could have wished for. Aww, hell, I’m just so in love :D Anyways, we went to a friend of his, and it was fun. Big fun. Didn’t get drunk or even tipsy I think, but fun it was. Stayed up till around 3 A.M. Not that late, I must admit, but late enough… Damn, was I tired. And damn, was I glad the next morning I didn’t drink that much :D Let’s just say, two other girls couldn’t hold their liquor… Had ‘breakfast’at Macdonald’s around… Oh say somewhere between 1 and 2 o’clock. Yup, one of my finest New Years I think :)
What else is new…? Got a new sideline working in a bakery for two days in the week. Not something I prefer to do for the rest of my life… For some odd reason I picture a Buffy Summers working in a fast-food restaurant :P Not something I prefer to do anyway, working in a bakery, but it does have its benefits… Money :D Yes, I’m guilty as charged, money is my motivation. Kinda like Buffy’s was :P Except for the fact I don’t have to take care for a kid sister and I don’t slay demons… Oh well, back to reality :D
I’ve been working in the bakery now for a month or so, and let me tell you, I’m glad it isn’t a fulltime job. I would go absolutely mad. The first week I started, I worked approximately 40 hours, because one person was sick and another one had trouble with her back… The next weeks I worked less, but still more than 2 days a week. And I really was starting to loose my mind. That’s what it felt like anyway. Now it’s settling down and that makes me quite happy. More free time for my boyfriend and other stuff like writing this blog :D On the other hand, I’m working for the money and I recently booked a holiday to Malta so I could use the money well… Ow well, I love my free time more :P
Ow, about blogger, I’m not sure I’m happy with the fact they changed it, but a friend of mine says it easier to use now. Can’t do anything about it, so I’ll just have to grind my teeth and have to accept it. And now, I don’t know what to say anymore, so I’ll just stop before my babbling goes any further and could be made into an Olympic sport.

P.S.: if you guys out there have any good suggestions about where to go on Malta, let me know!!

Not an addict...

You know the song, right, from K’s Choice? So let me first of all say, I am and will never ever, ever be an addict, or admit it… Ok, with that out of the way, I’m just a tad bit addicted to this little puzzle, called Sudoku. No, I’m not an addict, what did I just say… sjeez… Do read carefully, please ;-)
Anyway, as I was playing yet another sudoku, I remembered something… We, the Dutch, have a new champion in our midst. The 17-year old Aniek Huijsman has won the WC Sudoku in London, October 15th. She not only won the title of being the best in the world, but also a holiday to Sweden. That’s nice… Perhaps a good reason to participate in the next WC Sudoku ;-)
But if a trip to Sweden isn’t good enough for you to start playing, those few who don’t play it (yet), perhaps you might consider playing it for other reasons… For it can lower your blood pressure, relieve stress and even make you smarter. If I ever would get an addiction, this would be the least harmful addiction to get addicted to. But, as I said, I'm not an addict… You know the song. If not (shame on you ;-)) you can find the lyrics here.

Chitchat

I just don’t know. I know it’s shocking, but it’s the truth. I don’t know what to say in this blog… It’s been so long since I wrote an entry that I’m out of practice… Ok. Ok, you’re right, it’s a terrible excuse. Forgive me.

Let’s talk about the reason why it’s been so long… My Masters :D Yeah, it kept me busy. But in the end, it was all worth it :D Oh yeah, I have my degree :D Oh yeah, I’m good :P I am a student no more… And I haven’t yet started a new study, so I’m truly a student no more. My thesis, if you’re interested, is about the Irish tale Togail Bruidne Da Derga. It’s called ‘The kingship in Togail Bruidne Da Derga’ and I investigate the kingship in perspective of the Irish laws and the theories we now know and accept concerning these laws and also kingship. I investigate if what this story tells, what it depicts about kingship, agrees with what we know now. Alas, it’s in Dutch. So sorry for all you English speaking folk out there who can’t read Dutch (shame on you ;))… But you can always e-mail me if you’re interested. Perhaps we can work something out.

So, for another subject… it’s Animal/Pet’s Day :D My little (but way taller) brother has two of the most cutest and adorable ferrets. One is white and the other’s brown. They have a nice life, all do I say so myself. They lack of nothing anyway. So, this is my queue to talk about the animals that are less fortunate… All those animals that are being abused and ill-treated. Watch the programme on Animal Planet about the animal cops (isn’t it also called Animal Cops?) The things they sometimes show are horrible, beyond comprehension. I at least for one can’t comprehend why people treat their animals the way they do sometimes. I know it should be a joyous day, at least for the animals, but we should take a minute and consider the animals that aren’t so fortunate.
But now, go pamper your pet! He’ll/She’ll enjoy it. If your pet doesn’t like being groomed or petted, then give special attention to their food. Or give it a new toy to play with. Or whatever. Show that you love it, more than you otherwise already do. Cause they deserve it. They bring us joy and they give us their love. We should pay that back.

So now I’m kinda out of anything to talk about… I wish you and your pet a happy and beautiful day. Talk to you soon, when I have other (perhaps more interesting) things to say.

Year of the Dog

It’s been a while again, but I’ve been a bit busy, writing two essays, coping with some personal shit, so I apologise that I haven’t written this last Sunday when the new Chinese year came and I read something which gave me the idea of writing this entry. Or at least sooner than today. So I wish everybody a belated happy new lunar year - of the dog.
I myself am a dog, so this should be my year :D Though, the start of this new lunar year also didn’t quite go as I planned, wished or hoped for. But let me start at the beginning.
Last Sunday I read in our TV-guide that the year of the dog had started and there were things stated about every Chinese zodiac sign. Here’s what mine said:

‘The Dog
Loyal, enthusiastic, in possession of a sharp intuition. The Dog is the first person who will help you, if you need it. Someone who you can always count on. Injustice makes him (or her :P) furious, but in a crisis situation he keeps his head together. Dogs need a goal though, otherwise they tend to get a bit down/crestfallen. They often have many fans. They don’t have any interest for money, as long as it’s there…
Other Dogs Bill Clinton, Jennifer Lopez, Wendy van Dijk, Beyoncé and Ronald & Frank de Boer (though I assume most of you won’t know Wendy, perhaps you do know the brothers De Boer).
Top match Horse, Pig, Tiger en Monkey.
2006 The year of the Dog is one to enjoy. Promotion, more money… Chances everywhere! The year is filled with them, but you have to take action; you won’t get it for free. Some Dogs will move or will make an expensive purchase. You should watch your money/dimes(?). This is also the year to put a mark behind/to strike out disappointments of the past. You are not a star in forgetting, but you should nevertheless try it.’

As horoscopes go, this suits me just fine.
A chance already had come by, but for me it was already a closed door when I went for it. For me it was too little too late. But doors come by and go. When one closes, another opens. So, I don’t mourn the loss of that first door. I may regret not acting sooner, but with hindsight I think it is perhaps for the best. That closed door though, should realise that some things will never take place anymore. Some things spoken of in the past. He should also realise he didn’t choose the best time telling when and what he did. He should have waited. And that sucks the most. Bloody basterd. As the horoscope said, we are not very good at forgetting. I may forgive, but I will not forget for at least a while. Closed doors are a two way junction. Besides, I’m also a Scorpio, and don’t they tend to be vengeful? Ah well, some things will just not take place anymore. That’s revenge enough I suppose. That closed door and I will still be good friends, buddies, and mates. But I will now focus on other doors open.

Chances everywhere it says. Well, talking about promotion then, I hope to get my MA in Celtic Languages & Culture this year. As I said, I was busy writing two essays. They were due yesterday and I have handed them in (by mail). So now I await my marks with much anticipation. I am not done yet though, not by far. I still have 2 courses to follow and a MA thesis to write. But I believe I will get my diploma this year :D And then it’s of to another study ;) And also finding a job, which supports the horoscope’s prediction of more money :P
Chances everywhere! I feel it’s going to be a good year!

Think in the colour of your heart

I live nearby Rotterdam. I take the subway and the train and I am mostly always surrounded by… Hmm, how do I say this without sounding like a racist… I am mostly always surrounded by people whose origin is clearly not Dutch. They may have been born in The Netherlands, but their ancestors are not. Nothing wrong with that. On paper I also am allochtonous – a foreigner in my own country since my mom was born in Australia (and that’s also the reason why companies would be very happy to hire me; I’m white, female and on paper a ‘foreigner’). Anyway, I sit in the subway and the train and I hear them speak but cannot understand them cause they don’t speak Dutch. I walk on the streets and the same goes.
So why do I tell this? Well our minister of Integration has said she wanted to look into sharpening the codes of behaviour of integration, so that ‘foreigners’ who live here learn the values of our country better. One of the things she was thinking of was that ‘foreigners’ should only speak Dutch on the streets when surrounded by Dutch, and thus in subways and trains. I can understand where she is coming from. How I wish I could understand people who aren’t speaking Dutch, English or perhaps German, wanting to know what they are saying and if it concerns me.
But, though I can understand where she is coming from, I don’t think it is very rationally of her wanting to set this code. One, you can’t check everyone every minute of the day, everywhere they are, checking if they are speaking Dutch. Secondly, if I’m in another country with some friends, I also only speak their language when talking to a native of the country, and that is if I can speak the language. Otherwise it’s English for me. I can even imagine the same goes when I live for a longer period of time in that same country, and I have learned the language, I still will speak Dutch with my friends and family. Thirdly, it isn’t very liberal to limit people in their choice of speech. The Netherlands are a democratic and free country with a multi ethnical culture. You should not be restricted in your speech, though you should learn the Dutch language if you plan to live here. That is a good rule I think for immigrants. I don’t think that’s racist. And it’s just polite to speak Dutch if you’re surrounded by Dutch, but to set it is as a code that’s not doable.

I’ve been to a housewarmings party last night. It was fun. Too bad there isn’t an English equivalent of ‘gezellig’, cause that’s what it was. Perhaps cosy, but that has a different intonation and doesn’t give the right ambience. Anyways, I was sitting there and these two guys were having fun, joking about things and ‘foreigners’. Nothing serious and I laughed. So, a third guy called me racist. I wasn’t even joking, only laughing a bit, and I am the one who’s called a racist. It wasn’t serious, me being called a racist, so I am not concerned about that. But it was the second time in my life that I’ve been called a racist. And being called so just makes me start thinking of how I act. The first time was when I was standing in the train, early one morning when I had to go to college. I don’t like standing in the train. I just don’t. Secondly, I usually look grumpy towards people I don’t know. Just a defence of mine. One of my new year resolutions was to look cheery when going outside, but that besides. So, I was standing in the train and two Muslim girls were sitting in front of me. And one of them took it personally that I wasn’t looking cheery and was grumpy standing in the train. That dumb ass cow. Anyways, she too called me racist, only she meant it. You can call me a lot of thing. Call me a bitch and I will even acknowledge I am. But I will not let myself get called a racist and not defend myself. So I spoke back at that and she didn’t like that I spoke back. Dumb ass cow. But, that dumb ass cow attacked me. Stupid bitch. She couldn’t do anything to me, surrounded by bystanders, one of which jumped in when she grabbed me by the throat, which wasn’t a smart move of her since I was wearing a thick turtle-neck/roll-neck… and she wasn’t… what ya think I did? And who’d ya think would have been more successful choking the other if one male bystander hadn’t interfered? (Though truth be told, I wasn’t choking her or going to, just holding her.) But, the situation did make me start to think of how I act. Can you be a racist without knowing it and when you yourself start wondering if you are one, just because one person said so? Though, you yourself have never thought so? I must admit you can be one without knowing it, or thinking so. But, can you delude yourself that you aren’t one when you start thinking about it truthfully cause someone said you were? After that first time, after I started wondering truthfully, I came to the conclusion that I am not a racist, never have and never will be, no matter how much I joke and laugh. Cause I think in the colour of my heart. Not in black. Not in white. Not in black or white. There’s a Dutch song stating that; ‘don’t think black, don’t think white, don’t think black-white, but in the colour of your heart’ (roughly translated). It’s good advice.
Let people be who they are, though they should abide to the rules and values of the country they live in. Let them speak the language they want, annoying as it can be if you can't understand it, and although they should also be able to speak the language of the country they live in. Don’t think that, because of one black sheep, everyone is. Think in the colour of your heart, because regarding that, everyone is equal.

A mother’s love

I am 23. It isn’t and doesn’t sound old, but I am at an age where I start to think about the future; a husband, career, kids. Not in the direct future, God forbid, let me please first finish my studies and find a decent job, but sometimes I dream of a cute, sweet little girl whom I can love unconditionally. Or a cute, sweet little boy. I haven’t yet decided which sex I want first :P I think a boy, and then a girl so the girl can have crushes on her brother’s friends. That’s how it went with me ;-)
But anyway, why I tell this, is that I can’t understand mothers who kill their children, or try to sell them on internet. That’s the case what happened here in the Netherlands last week and the week before last. A couple of dead babies were found. One of the mothers tried to commit suicide afterwards with a friend of hers, which failed, but her little girl was already dead by suffocation. And another mother tried to gave away her fourth or fifth (I can’t remember) child on marktplaats.nl, a Dutch auction site. The site immediately removed the offer and the police was informed. Anyway, the woman did this because she couldn’t take care for it and was not a very motherly woman. I think that if you don’t want a child, you shouldn’t get pregnant, and if you do get pregnant and you decide that you don’t want it, you either give it up for adoption, or you get an abortion. Personally, I would never go for the abortion. I do think that a woman should have the opportunity to have an abortion, though I think the period in which a woman can have one, should be reduced from 24 weeks to…less. But I would not go for the abortion. If I would get pregnant and I can’t care for the child, I would give it up for adoption with pain in my heart. Or that’s what I imagine anyway. Hey, I already almost cry when I see animals being hurt on Animal Planet… giving away your child should be more devastating for a woman, right? Let alone kill it…

Can anybody find me...

It’s been a while since my last entry, I've been busy. But I promise to try and make it up to you. So let me see… The dentist was fine. Always fun. And I’m not being sarcastic. We have a very relaxed dentist, and we always have fun. I also actually don’t have any problem with going to the dentist, since I never have any problems with my teeth. Thank God. But, besides that, it gives me the chance to skip classes with a legit reason :D When in high school, I had braces and every time I went to the orthodontist, I got permission from my mom to stay home after I had seen him… Ah, the good ol’ days… ;-) Now I stay just home from college illegally, when I don’t feel like going :P

Anyway, that same evening I had to go to a little going away party for a friend of mine. She had to go back to Ireland – how dreadful – to finish her work placement. Though I really wanted to go to the party, I also didn’t want to go. The party was supposed to be a party such as that we, my girlfriends and I, usually have. Just a group of girls having fun, talking and perhaps watch a movie. But those don’t include guys, and the guys of my friends were invited to this party. I don’t mind parties which include guys, but the ambience is different. So, I wanted to go, but also kinda didn’t.
One of my friends is just since recently started to be a couple. And it was so very typical at this little party. The two couples together on the couch, a third that hadn’t brought her guy, next to them, saying she was normally always with him. My other friend and I who aren’t with someone right now, on the opposite wall. Afterwards we were happy to have left, for the couples were being so obvious. Anyway, my friend who just recently has gotten herself a man has done so through an internet dating service. And those things seem to work, as I understand many have found their better half via dating services. Still, I don’t see myself ever subscribing to such a service. Not even when I’m that desperate for a guy. I just believe that I can fall in love with a man without a dating service, and it being mutual. However, some people I consider to be very good friends I met on internet. So I can’t say I never met someone through internet, but it was just without a dating service :P
Do you know that song of Queen, ‘Can anybody find me, somebody to love?’ If someone can, it’s a dating service apparently. So, I should never say never is the conclusion. But still… I think I am better than a dating service.

Where I wish upon a star

When I was in my senior year of our equivalent of high school, five years ago, I thought I would not graduate, at least not that year. My grades weren’t hopeful in my eyes, my grandma past away shortly before my first school exams and I just hadn’t a good feeling about it all. Anyway it was in the winter and at that time, I still played tennis and still had tennis lessons. It was when my friend and I got back after a lesson that I saw a falling star. My friend hadn’t seen it and I made my wish. I wished that I would graduate; I wanted so much for that wish to come true. And it did. I had prepared to not graduate and to do the year over, but I graduated. And I remembered my wish. Rationally I can understand that my wish had nothing to do with my graduation but everything with my input and the way I did my final exams; totally relaxed. But still, I can’t say for sure my wish upon that falling star, has nothing to do with it.
Would my falling star still grant wishes? Cause once more I wish upon a star.

Last night was New Year. And before I go on, I wish you all a good new year and hope all of you had a great time. Personally I don’t feel a new year has begun. Till ten o’clock p.m. I was studying. That doesn’t mean I hadn’t a good time when the clock finally struck 12. But I think I royally screwed up around a quarter till two. I got a phone call from my acquaintance whom was in love with me. And there lies the part I royally screwed up. I was at my neighbours and their big dog had lain herself upon my lap so it took some time before I could answer my phone properly. I took interest in him and I really was interested and wanted to know how he was doing, but I think the damage at that point had already been done.
So today I already thought life wasn’t very fair and felt a bit shitty for the way I might have treated him. I got on the internet and logged in at msn but he wasn’t online so I decided to get going with my studies again, while I put my msn on ‘occupied’. When I looked up I was invited into a multiple chat. And to my VERY BIG SURPRISE, my acquaintance was also in that chat and he was ‘offline’ as far as I saw. So I can’t get passed the logical conclusion that he has blocked me, while he had said that he wouldn’t do that; for he replied in the chat, and still he was offline for me. So now, life sucks even more. What a good way to start the New Year. I feel betrayed. I haven’t the knowledge of his reasons behind his action, I don’t even know for sure he has blocked me, so for all I know it is as innocent as a new born (it sounds naïve even to me), but still I feel betrayed.

So I wish upon a star that this year will be a lot better than 2005 and my start will not prove to be an omen of the coming year.

Merry Christmas

Another year has come and is almost gone. As every year, the past year had its ups and downs, its good and bad, its fun and stress. Time flies and sometimes I wonder were it goes. But such is time and nevertheless time has its plusses for time heals every wound, though the memory remains, vague as it gets with time. But so do the good memories. They keep each other in balance. The Light can not exist without the dark, do we wish it could. But they exist in each others grace. Nonetheless, it is the Season to be jolly, a Season of Life, Love and Peace in which we celebrate the coming of Christ, our Saviour.
So I wish everybody a Very Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year. May all your wishes for the coming year come true and may you know nothing but happiness and prosperity. May you find Peace, Love and Joy in this most Magical Season. May you be blessed with Peace and Safety in all four Seasons and wherever you are. May the Light always shine upon you and keep the dark at bay. And may God keep you in the palm of His hand. Have a merry holiday and a good New Years Eve.

Hugs and Kisses

Winter Solstice

It’s Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year. My little brother was born on the 21st of December thus that makes him a lucky person for he has the sun on his side, while she increases her influence. So we celebrated his 20th birthday tonight and though he didn’t get much presents, for it’s almost Christmas, we had a good time, learning to play/playing mah-jong :)
Anyhow, winter has finally begun and I for one can’t wait for it to set in. I want this winter to be a very cold one, so hell freezes over and I can skate on natural ice for a first time in I think nearly a decade. I love to skate, but it has been a very long time since I done it. The few times the ditches did freeze over, I didn’t think it sensible to go skating for it had only been freezing for a few days and the thaw had set in the day people went skating…
But I have hope for this winter. I also hope it will snow with Christmas. I am just a little romantic at heart. So I have hopes for this winter but if I must be realistic, which I normally am, I must admit it doesn’t seem very likely that my hopes will come true. It will probably rain with Christmas and it probably won’t freeze long or hard enough for me to go skating with a good feeling :( Damn global heating. Damn Bush for neglecting international treaties and thus contributing extra to global heating. Damn Bush in general. Ok, I’ll admit, I don’t like Bush all that much. Concerning Bush, I’ll leave it at that for now.
So, I have hopes for this Christmas. It seems that in the future though, I won’t have to hope anymore, for I remember that it has been said that, due to global heating if I remember correct, it’ll get colder in Europe in the future. This means that the winter will be winter again, the ditches will freeze over, I will be a happy camper skating and my romantic heart will rejoice and enjoy Christmas even more with a big mug of hot chocolate. Thank God for global heating… hey, you have to see the positive in the negative ;)
Enjoy winter (solstice) everyone.

Hear no, speak no, see no evil

I feel like shit momentarily. A friend/acquaintance has admitted tonight that he had feelings for me, was in love with me… I saw this coming, but I don’t feel the same for him. I like him and think he’s a nice guy, but (at the moment) my feelings for him don’t go further than that. He seemed ok with that… He said he thought that would be the case… but then he did something which made me ask why he did what he did and well, I didn’t really think it was because of me, but I do tend to take things to heart so I asked if he did it because of me.
First his answer was negative, but then he said that perhaps, yes, it had something to do with me. I said to him, that if he wanted me to leave him alone (for a while), he should say so. But then he said ‘that I shouldn’t take it personally’, but that he just felt shitty, he was off his stroke at the moment and that after a good nights sleep, he would feel much better.
How can I not take that personally? Someone is hurting because of me. A man is hurting because of me. And I can’t help but feel shitty about that. For I have never been able to cope with men who are/were hurting.

Today’s men, is the general opinion, should be able to show their feelings. They should be in contact with their feminine side, so they should be able to cry. That doesn’t work for me. I remember this one time, I was about 11 I think, and a big fight concerning my little brother (who is 3 years younger than I am). In those days he just wasn’t a happy camper and created huge fights and would thereafter lock himself up in his room. Normally the one person he didn’t exclude was my older brother (2.5 years older than I am). But this time he did. I remember going up the stairs to the second floor where both my brothers’ bedrooms were, and hearing my brother cry, seeing him being comforted by my mom. I never heard or saw anything so terrible. My big brother crying, the one person my little brother never excluded and also always seemed to listen to. What had he said to my brother that he was crying? What had he done? My big brother crying, one of the few persons I really relied on and of whom I thought could never be broken. My big brother… broken.

Since then, I think, I can’t cope with men who are hurting. And it is even worse if I am the instigator, for as I said, I tend to take things to heart. Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked anything, perhaps I shouldn’t have cared. Perhaps I am too much of a woman in heart. But I want my family, friends, and people I like, to be happy. I would like to protect them against any evil coming their way. But how can I protect them if that evil is me and I didn’t mean for them to be hurting because of me? How can I not feel shitty if it is because of me, even if the person hurting says I am not to blame?

I must say that just sharing this helps, but not enough, and I think this will wander my thoughts for I fall asleep later this night. Ah well, such is my mind and conscience...

Talking ’bout the weaker sex

Talking about the weaker sex. Talking about boys and men. Most men, and perhaps some women, would assume the weaker sex is the woman. Whoever thinks this is so wrong, just plain wrong. Boy are you ever so wrong if you think this. Why, you ask, do I mention this? Well, last week I read this article and today I got reminded of it by my dad. The poor soul…

Boys are not more intelligent than girls. But you can say that girls perform better than boys. For years (international) research has shown that this is so. Girls take up less time to successfully end their education and fewer girls call it quits halfway their education. This is even true for the beta studies. Again and again girls perform better than boys and not only on educational grounds; they have also become more assertive, e.g. in courting. For the full article (in Dutch) look here.
So, women are just better than men. Sorry to bust your bubble boys and men. Physically men are perhaps stronger, but even so, women can even the scores by training their physique. But hey, noting new under the sun. Men are just weaker than women. This also shows in their health (also read the article). They get ill sooner and more often. Just today my dad said he wasn’t feeling well, he was ill – he has a nasty cough… a really mean little cough… uhuh, yeah and that means you’re ill…. Not likely. Nasty cough? Take some cough syrup. Really, a little cough doesn’t mean you’re ill; it’s more likely you have a (starting) cold. And a cold is not, I repeat, NOT the same as being ill. And if you really are ill, take some drugs for God’s sake, some aspirin. But noooò, men are too stubborn for that. They want pity. They want to be pampered. For a little, annoying, cough. Damn, you men are so stubborn, annoying and dumb sometimes. Don’t take the damned syrup, cause a nasty little cough doesn’t effect your throat at all… At some point, your throat will not hurt from all that coughing… Your body is build to endure everything without any help from you… Cough syrup? Drugs? Who needs them? Certainly not men, who are after all the stronger sex. Oops, I forgot, you’re the weaker sex. TAKE THOSE DAMN DRUGS IF YOU’RE ILL!!!! TAKE COUGH SYRUP IF YOU HAVE AN ANNOYING, NASTY COUGH!!!
Hopefully the point has come across. Still not convinced men are the weaker sex? Here’s a fact for you: women have a lower pain threshold than men, but at the same time have a higher pain level – so we do feel pain sooner, but we can also endure pain longer before we pass out. You men are so weak.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

The other day I heard that research had shown that women spend 2 years of their lives in front of a mirror. Two years… Making themselves more beautiful/prettier/cuter than they already are. Trying to conform to the given standards in the magazines. Doing their hair and make-up… Just ignore the fact that if you don’t have any natural beauty of your own, make-up alone will not suffice. Which brings me to plastic surgery.
I understand why some women (and men) would want to submit to plastic surgery. I really do. Personally I wouldn’t – for I’m too chickenshit for something like that. Besides that, I am cute all of my own and don’t want to change my appearance, let alone correct my nose. And if I wanted to lose weight I’d change my diet (less candy, sweets and chocolate, and less soft drink) and perhaps start exercising. That is the healthiest way anyway. But some women, who undergo surgery, just don’t need it. They are cute and beautiful and pretty and slim. And they still undergo surgery… I don’t get that. I don’t get programmes like ‘Perfect!’ where gorgeous women undergo surgery to become ‘prefect’ by their own definitions and own likings. But hey, doesn’t the saying go ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’? And unfortunately beautiful people earn more, have a better social life and are more successful in life in general. Life sucks, life’s a bitch and hard as a rock. You’re fat, you’re ugly, and you’re not perfect. Don’t accept your own looks and life. Undergo surgery. Take the easy way out, cause life’s hard as it is with you being just cute, pretty or beautiful…. Just for your information, this is just a tad bit sarcastic.

Under Pressure :P

It has been quite some time since I last wrote for my blog. I have neglected my blog for nearly a year, but lately I felt an urge to do something about that. To conjure something up and just write. There is only one problem with that - I normally don’t want to write just anything. It has to make sense, if only to me, and it has to lead somewhere. It has to have a point.
So here I am, writing a blog entry that hasn’t got a point at all. It is just a notification of the fact that I will attempt to write on a regular basis from now on. If you want to thank or damn someone for this, for I have had a boost from a friend, go to http://ysgrublaidd.blogspot.com/ and just leave him a message.
Oh, and on a personal note to you Ys… I said I would see if I could devise something for you as entry today, and you didn’t believe me… Shows you, you were just plain wrong in not trusting me on this ;) And yeah, your pressure has helped :D

On a side note: When I was writing this blog entry, I heard ‘Under Pressure’ from Queen and David Bowie. Isn’t that just ironic...

Typical Woman?

I can be typical woman towards the men in my life. I am not talking about friends who happen to be male, but about my brothers and my father.

Bear with me ok, it’s quite a long story.

When my oldest brother got his first girlfriend, I really didn’t like her at all. You may even say I hated her. The reason for this was that, before she came round, I had him all to myself. It may sound a little naïve, but at the time I was 16 (he was 18) and except for his (male) friends, no girl had ever come into our home for him. So I was jealous. Jealous she had his attention and I didn’t when she was around, and jealous because in my eyes she was more beautiful than I. Why else would she have my brother’s affection while I didn’t have a boyfriend? Why else would we (my brother and I) be growing apart if not for her? My ‘hate’ didn’t last long; she came to my room one day, crying. Yep, so we talked and I became a lot more at ease with her, and to some extend, we became friends. My brother and she finally broke their relation because my brother got sick of travelling half the country to get to her (it’s a little country, The Netherlands, but it still takes quite some time to get from one end to the other, especially by train). Since they ended their relation I have seen her once more, when she came to look us all up, and after that she has visited my brother’s new place once. I was quite surprised when he told that she at visited him at his new place, and he hadn’t even told that right away. It was at dinner once, I don’t know how long after she visited him. But, I was just a little disappointed that I didn’t have the chance to meet up with her. She was/is quite nice and I very much liked her after that talk of ours.

Does this have a point? Yes it does. Bear with me, please.

My father has been married once before, before he met my mother. They were married for 8 years and the brake up wasn’t sweet from what I understand. It was hell. It was blood and murder (figurative speaking of course). Thank God no children were involved.
And after a period of 25 years, they finally decided they wanted to come together to meet up, and talk to each other, exchanging photo’s and things they still had of one another. This was arranged through my aunt, who sometimes came/comes in contact with the ex.
So, my father and his ex had a meeting once more, today. Their third meeting. It seems her children are very interested in my father, who he is, what he looks like. And she apparently is interested in us children. So, during dinner my father asked if we (my little brother of 19, and I) were just as curious at his ex, as her children were at him. My little brother had a very sensible view to the situation; he just wasn’t interested in her children or in her, who they are, and what they all look like. It also didn’t bother him that they were meeting. If my father wanted to meet her, fine with him.
It bothers me though, just a bit. I don’t want to meet her or her husband. I am not interested what se looks like (it’s enough I know she is Surinamese), and who she is. Neither am I interested in her children. It didn’t bother me that they wanted to talk things over, that they wanted to catch up with one another. It really didn’t bother me that they had a second meeting. But the third? It seems to be that she has grasped control over my father (perhaps once more); it seems to me that when they meet, he is chasing after her (every time they meet, he has the longest drive); it seems to me that she holds all the power in hands.
My father thought that I had a very feminine view to the situation (and was surprised), and that I was seeing his ex as an opponent. I am not; at least I don’t think so. He said that if it didn’t bother him, meeting a friend and doing more for that meeting than she, than who cares? Ok, that’s fair, but can she not come to where we life, instead of him driving each single time to her? My father was late for dinner tonight, because he was held up in a file/traffic-jam after he had met her. I wonder if she had the same problem, I doubt it.
Further more, it bothers me that he has seen this woman now for three times, when he hasn’t seen his true friends once this whole year.
I was told that his ex was so interested in us that my mother suggested celebrating my father’s birthday (he hasn’t done that for quite some time now), so that she can all meet us, and his brothers and sisters who she also wanted to see. I don’t want to meet her, I don’t have the urge, and I don’t feel the need.
Am I being typical woman? Am I defending my mother who hasn’t have a problem with the meetings, except for the fact that she too thinks his ex has to come this way for once, instead of him that way? Am I sticking up for my father’s best interest with my opinion she for once has the longer drive?
Or am I just being typical, and as with my brother, see these meetings more and more as an invasion of my territory? Do I think she is stealing my father’s attention from me? I don’t think so. But hey, it could just as well be true. Maybe, I am just not very good at sharing my brothers and father.

Liar, Liar pants on fire

Have you ever wondered how you can tell when one is lying to you? You can see it by ones eyes. Yes, you truly can. If someone is lying, their eyes hold a certain position. I think the position is that they look to the top left corner of the eyes. But I don’t know for sure anymore. Maybe someone can let me know?
Anyhow, I was waiting for my train on a bench on the platform, when a woman came up to me and asked if I knew which exit she would have to take to go to the police station. And I didn’t know. But, I didn’t want to say that flat to her face. So, I began thinking, and my eyes went to the (low) right corner. I thought a few moments and told her I didn’t know, and she went on her way, thanking me anyways for the trouble.
That made me thinking. I can lie my ass of and you would be convinced I was telling the truth. I don’t sweat on the moment, and I won’t make a nervous impression. I have done it a couple times before: lying to a teacher about homework I didn’t do but convincing him I just forgot to take my homework with me; telling my father that it was all just a misunderstanding when in fact I did ignore him for half a week or so. I don’t lie often, or better, I don’t often lie that big, cause I am still convinced that telling the truth is the easiest and right thing to do, but when in need, I can do it. And that makes me perfect for this society, since research has shown that people who can lie convincingly, are socially better integrated, have more friends, and better jobs. Their social status is higher than those who can’t lie. It’s just a sad truth when you think about it. Lie and you will succeed in life!
But then again, what would be the outcome if people stopped lying? Imagine going to work and telling everyone at work how you really feel about him or her. All those times when you lied your ass off to convince them you did like them, very much even so. Yeah, sometimes you can better lie, than tell the truth. You don’t want to tell your friend that that hairdo sucks by life, or that the dress which she totally loves wasn’t worn since prehistory. And you certainly may not tell him that he really has to go the hairdresser or his girlfriend just doesn’t suit him. You may not tell him that. So lie, and save your job, your friendships, and your social life. Lie and still have the possibility to manipulate, and use people. Lie and be happy!
Right, happy, isn’t that just a relative concept?

My very first blog

Yeah, my first blog attempt ever!

So, my very first attempt to keep a virtual diary. I dare questioning my own consistency concerning this thing. For that matter, I wonder if my English grammar and vocabulary will suffice. I really don’t think so, since English isn’t my native tongue. It would be a lot easier if I would do this in Dutch, for that is my first language and a lot of people (the Dutch) would appreciate it. It is much easier to read and write in your own language, I think. But, thank God for dictionaries. In my opinion it wouldn't be fair if only Dutch people could read this, so you all just have to do with my English, and the Dutch should be able to read English. Are we not known for our language skills (ok, don't answer that one).